Notes on accompanying Irish tunes

1, play the rhythm of the melody, like a good bodhran player.

2, The emphasis falls on the back beat. To me as a classical muso, that means beats 2+4 in common time (4 4) or the quaver off-beat. To my Irish fiddler mate, emphasising the back beat means the emphasis falls part way through the note he is playing, towards the back of the beat. I'm trying to think of words I can use to remind myself - a very relaxed, lagging behind, almost falling over feel. It sounds like an exercise in letting rhythm flow.